Vica and Natasha are driving us nuts.
They complain about everything and anything that causes them the slightest discomfort. They always did this and that's what got them named the Gabor sisters in the first place, but it seems they are kicking it up a notch.
I'm hot, I'm cold, this ice cream is cold, this grass is wet, the sun is hot, these eggs aren't salted properly (I'm taking license with the English on that one) and on and on it goes to the point where I'm really getting tired of hearing it. I know it's not just me, because Matt just called to inform me of the latest litany of complaints and he sounded pretty exasperated by it too.
They are all over small minor things but I'm not sure where this is coming from. Is this normal girl behavior, or is this adopted kid behavior- or a combination of both.
My feeling is that they never had anyone that took care of them other than meeting their basic needs and now they have just come to expect that we as their parents will step in and make EVERYTHING to their satisfaction. Maybe we're doing too much for them? I certainly didn't think so. I've been vigilant about teaching the girls to be responsible for their possessions, cleaning up after themselves, making their beds, chores etc. When they complain about something minor, I just say something like "Oh well" and move on to the next thing. Matt tends to acknowledge the complaint and tries to explain to them why their complaint isn't a valid one.
I didn't come wired that way so I'm not sure how to handle this. I thought it would pass, but like I said it seems to be getting worse.
I'd appreciate any advice from adoptive and non-adoptive parents out there who are still reading this thing.
At least I feel better for venting. Thanks for the post Jane about how blogging helps work through a problem, I feel that this is going to an ongoing one.
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6 comments:
I think this is normal kid behaviour, but of course maggie hasn't reached the age to complain yet, so we'll see if she complains more than the boys. We don't get as many complaints as the unbelievable sense of entitlement, I cannot believe how much Daniel thinks he's entitled to, after having lived in deprivation for so long-I presume it's some kind of reactive thing. However, Ben's sense of entitlement is the size of a supernova & we've had him since he was 6 months old, so presumably we created our own monster!!!
Sounds like normal kid behavior to me. Brianna and Jillian expect everything to be to their specifications and if not the whining begins. Brianna is especially bad about it, but I think that has a lot with me spoiling her rotten after losing Zachary. Jillian is just a primadonna that is all I have to say about her or I will sound like a terrible person. I have high hopes for Kyleigh she is going to be that perfect child who never whines, listens to her Mommy and cleans up without me asking, ok ok a girl can dream cant she LOL! So the good thing is that your girls sound like perfectly normal children, even if it makes their parents crazy they are just like the rest of them, you are doing a wonderful job!
well, as an experienced mother of a girl who happens to be 17 not to mention just a normal child. We as parents are definitely expected to be miracle moms! with that said, be greateful that they can complain of such non trivial mattrers. I know its overwhemling to say the least , but guess what........it doeasn't get any easier! people who tell you it does, LIE! Wait till they hit PMS. Guess what that will stand for, Punish My Sole Survirer. No one said parenting will be easy, however its th eworst paid job with the best rewards, your revenge will come when you become a grandparent!
On a different note.....I love my great nieces, and their perfect dispite what there parents complain about! xoxoxo.....yeah.......this feels good!
All My Deepestv Love.....Cho-Cha Hania
Well, you can give the standard agressive Sicilian comeback:
"You're (hot, cold, tired, angry, sad, etc.)?? Well, I'll give you something to be (hot,cold,tired,angry,
sad, etc.) about!!!
Or as I like to do with Vincent, the passive-aggressive martyr approach: "Oh, I'm sooo sorry, is there something I haven't done for you today??
Sounds pretty normal to me...with having a 14 year old boy, I'm happy to get more than a grunt out of him. His complaints are not that specific or descriptive: "That's so lame, that sucks, that's bogus, you're psycho, etc." Catch my drift??
We have a family policy when a child whines- we interrupt him/her by saying "throw the whine out the window"; the child takes their hand and makes the motion of throwing something from their mouth away, then they are reminded to use their proper speaking voice and continue. It works!! Try it and good luck!!
It gets better. The whining should lessen as they learn more English. My family is Russian and I remember hearing "nee hoon zee" which means stop complaining. We have adopted four girls and so I can totally relate. :)
God Bless.
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