Doesn't Play well with the other Moms

I'm cranky this morning and since this all started yesterday, I figured what the heck, I'd blow off some steam and blog about it and maybe, just maybe I'd take my own favorite advice and "Get over it"

I like to think my impatience with other Mothers of small children is due to the fact that I'm several years older than most of them, or because I've taken such a circuitous route to Motherhood that I just don't get worked up over every little thing that my kids do and want to memorialize it for all time and eternity because I think it's not only precious to me, but needs to be shared with the public at large....

Natasha graduated Pre-school yesterday. It was a lovely little ceremony followed by a picnic for the families. Parents, siblings and Grandparents were invited and it was held on the back lawn of the clubhouse with beautiful views of the lake. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although getting to that point was not without it's frustrations.

What gets me is that none of those had to do with Natasha and the education she was receiving there. She's learned so many, many things being in this wonderful program that's run by two of the most patient, talented women I've had the pleasure of meeting- but hey, you already know I'm pro-teacher, :) The most important thing she's learned is HOW to play. When she was in the orphanage her time was extremely structured. With all of those small children and only two women to care for all of them most of the time, there couldn't be any other way. She was constantly told what to do and when to do it, except at play time. Even though there seemed to be enough toys it was always bedlam and really all I ever observed the kids doing was running around crashing into each other screaming or fighting over every single one of those toys. There just wasn't enough adult supervision and the right kind of interaction to foster any of the socialization skills children learn by playing in groups.

Flash forward to the end of this year. Natasha is one of the most popular kids in her class and has many friends. Watching her run around rolling on the grass with her friends giggling was the best!

The weeks leading up to that moment were not so blissful. It seemed that every day that I went to pick her up at school, or came home from work, or logged on to my e-mail there was yet another "idea" cooked up by one of the Mom's about what a "great" year-end project we should do, or memento to give to the teachers, or.....whatever!

Now, I'm totally not adverse to doing any of these things, but why, I ask you do I need six pages of instruction, followed up by three phone calls and an e-mail on HOW to do what's requested. I'm not the 5 year old here!

I also realize that every Mother thinks her child is special. I do, but here's the difference, I know she's just a really cute kid with a really interesting back story to you, and I'm completely, totally cool with that. I don't expect you to worship my kid, if you aren't a member of her immediate family I don't expect you to remember a lot about her either. I also know that teachers are touched and care for the children they teach, and some do stand out over the years. An example being the wedding we're going to in a few weeks. This young man was in the very first class of students Matt taught here in NJ. He went on to become an English teacher and even did his student teaching with Matt as his mentor. In the 15 years Matt has taught here, I can count these kinds of students on the fingers of one hand- and I think that Matt has more than the average.

So, I endure the phone calls and instruction sheets and e-mails, dutifully completing each and every one of the requests on time. The best was the one where I had to have Natasha write words of advice for the incoming class of 2009. I wanted to point out to the woman who cooked up that little gem that a 5 year old doesn't know anything about advice and only sees the world in terms of how it relates to them. I mean, come on, if I know that, then I'm sure it's been printed thousands of times in all of the parenting magazines and books these gals rely on as their bible.

So the icing on the crap cake is yesterday. After listening to the parent teacher liaison (can you believe they even have one of these in pre-school) sob her way through her entire speech- ( I kid you not, and she doesn't even have a child currently enrolled in the pre-k program) it was time to hand out the little diplomas. Very cute, except they used Natasha instead of Natalia. I prefer to have her formal name used whenever it's going to be used in any public setting. That's just how I am. I'm not rabid about it, it's just what I prefer. And that's exactly what I said to my Mother who was sitting next to me. "I would have preferred Natalia instead of Natasha, but oh well"

Where upon the woman sitting in front of me reels around and says "Well, I guess you'll have to just wait until High School then!"

Now those of you who know me realize this is the moment where the red flag is waved in front of the bull and the crowd usually comes to a hush.

But I'm more grown up now and instead of saying what I thought, which was "I'm so sorry that you're not only extremely nosy but wearing a dress that went out of style 5 years ago and have you ever thought of investing in a pair of Spanx if you're going to dress like that, and NO it doesn't make you look like someone on Sex in the City, only a washed out hag" I just gave her that little smile and a nod that says much more than all of that and turned to my Mother next to me.

Who was giving her the exact same look.

You just can't help it when you learn at the feet of the Master.

Oh, and as it turns out. The Carrie Bradshaw wanna be is the woman who concocted the "advice" project.

To hell with maturity, I shoulda just pushed her into the lake.

Yeah, I'm over it.....