Tuesday, May 31, 2011

For Lisa

Hi Lisa,

You left a comment regarding speaking with me about adoption from Ukraine. However, I didn't see a way that I could contact you. Please feel free to e-mail me at yahoo.com my address is lisasicilian. (I'm typing it this way to avoid sixteen tons of spam)

I'd love to hear where you are in the process. Ukraine is not for the faint of heart, but it's worth the blood, sweat and tears.


Thursday, May 12, 2011

New Direction

Obviously I haven't posted in awhile...there hasn't been that much to say regarding the kids and how our lives pertain to the (now very) small fact that they were adopted from Ukraine.

In a way, I can't believe we're at that point. I remember all too well how all consuming the process was. I guess it was like a very, very long pregnancy and now that the kids have been here almost 4 1/2 years stalking adoption blogs and the mailman and updating countless documents has officially moved to the distant past for me.

My days now are occupied with NJ ASK tests, compiling wardrobes that far surpass mine in quantity and cost, karate, dance recitals and camp registration.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Unfortunately, it appears that adoptions from Ukraine are really slowing down to a trickle and that makes me very sad. It isn't for lack of great kids needing homes. I want to believe it's because Ukraine is doing more to place children in need with Ukrainian families and not with political b.s., but I can't help shake the memories of all of those beautiful faces so in need of love. You can't (at least I can't) adequately describe how heart wrenching it is to see so MANY children try so hard to get the smallest scrap of attention for you. From the toddler who simply walks up to you with his arms in the air and a pleading look on his face for you to just pick him up and comfort him to the 7 year old who snuggles closer and closer to you while you are visiting the lucky kids you are adopting just so she can rest her head on your arm for a minute and the teenager almost aged out of the system at 14 who is already developing a hollow eyed, hardened
look who reaches out to touch your hair so very, very gently when she thinks you won't notice.

As a Mother, those images are burned into my very soul and will never become a part of my distant past........

I've decided to take this blog into a different direction because my life and that of the family I've created is also moving in a different direction.

Basically, it'll be all about ME (try not to be shocked) and how I fumble my way through the most important job in the Universe. (Apparently, God doesn't check references)

I'll rant, I'll rave and discuss all the big issues........but mainly my attempts to get my groove back.

Consider yourselves warned.

Any suggestions on what I should call this blog? Apparently blogging by 4o somethings is huge and all the cool names seem to be taken.

I'm open to suggestions.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

My daughter, Paris Hilton.....

Driving to Target last week and discussing some upcoming family vacations (next 2-3 years)

Me: I'd love to take you guys on a cruise, you know.. the REALLY big ships, they have so many cool things for you guys to do on board!

Vica: Yeah Mama!!! I know, I saw one on TV, they have a wave pool and a rock climbing wall and they even have a

Natasha: Hot Tubs!!!!

Oooooookay, well, yes, yes they do have hot tubs Natasha.

And you know, for Dad's 50th we're going to take a trip to the Grand Canyon...

Vica: Oh Mama! That's gonna be so cool, we studied that in school and it's so pretty and you can actually go INTO the canyon.....

You can take a plane ride
You can hike into the canyon
You could also ride a........

Natasha: Limo???????

Oh brother. I guess that should have been my warning. I got a call from school this past Friday that Natasha has apparently "charged" 11 dollars worth of snacks and drinks in the cafeteria during the last few weeks and could I please kindly pay her tab....

Why does all of this seem like a scary premonition of things to come?

I've already started researching all girls boarding schools.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ukrainian Words for "Aunt"

For the one person out there who is still reading this blog, LOL. You asked me what the word Aunt is in Ukrainian.

It depends! Not only on who the Aunt is directly related to (Mom or Dad) but also what part of Ukraine you are from.

My Mom is from Western Ukraine and the family has been here for 50+ years so we tend to follow a slightly different set of rules. Generally you would refer to an Aunt as "Teta" or "Cho-cha" Technically one refers to the sister of your Father and one to the sister of your Mother.

Don't ask me which is which because I've got no idea. This is how we play it in my 'hood:

With my girls, both are used as terms of endearment and respect, but you're ONLY a Teta if you are a Grand Dame of the Ukrainian matriarchy. My girls would call MY Grandmother's peers Teta and that group is fading fast. The girls call my Aunts (my Mother's sisters as Dad is not a member of the tribe) and my Mother's peers Cho-cha.

All Americans are simply "Aunt" Sounds confusing, but you'd be surprised how the girls can keep it all straight.

So, in summary. Both are used as a respectful form of address, but Teta is used as a more formal option.

Next question!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Two Years Home

Just about this time two years ago, I was riding what felt like a bus all the way back from Ukraine- and I could not have been happier!

Last night we celebrated with a dinner that has now become a January 18th ritual. We recreate the last meal we ate in jail, I mean Kyiv. Just about the best hot dogs you ever tasted and fried potatoes- all washed down with ice cold Ukrainian beer- YUM!

Matt was looking forward to this last meal in Ukraine in the worst way- we were just about to sit down to dinner and the door bell rings- and lo and behold, it's the infamous Alla. All dressed up with full length mink coat sniffing around for something to eat. I'm sure she thought we would be going out (hopefully the the super expensive place we had gone several times earlier in the trip) but we were having none of it.

This of course did not stop two things from happening. 1. My Mom inviting her to stay and 2. Her staying and eating Matt's second hot dog. I wish you could have heard the torrent of curses Matt rained down upon her for that. The poor thing was so upset, I have to cook him the same meal (with two hot dogs) every January 18th just to help him get over it....

I'm not sure he ever will..........

Anyway, here we are home. The kids still can't speak English properly, they drive us nuts. Natasha has started wetting the bed with a vengeance and I'm ready to take off for Tahiti at a moments notice.

Actually, it's not quite that dramatic. I'm told thier English skills are remarkable for kids home only two years, and the bedwetting thing has been ongoing since Natasha came home.

It's just that she's taken to getting up in the middle of the night and instead of getting up to use the bathroom, she's decided on more than one occasion to change clothes, stay up and play and when she's had to go to the bathroom, just pee all over herself and everything in her room.

Two weeks ago, she pulled this stunt, taking off her pull up, putting on panties and play clothes and wetting those. She proceeded to take the wet clothes off, put them in her hamper, put on dry pj's and go to bed. Where she wet the bed AGAIN, this time soaking everything, including the pillow. Needless to say it was not a pleasant sight (or smell) the next morning.

Last night I discovered that she's been taking off wet pull ups and putting them in the drawer where her clean pj's are kept- I found two souvenirs there.

We've explained twelve thousand times to her that it's okay that she "goes" in the diaper, but the only place for a dirty one is in the garbage and that she has to tell me when she has an accident in her clothes. I don't yell or carry on, and try to reassure her that it's completely okay.

No dice, she won't do it and I'm at the end of my rope.

Sorry, I know you were expecting a happy all is bliss, we're home two years post, but I'm simply not feelin' it.

Oh, and if you're thinking about leaving me some lame ass comment about this is to be expected or your kid wet the bed until he/she was 21- do me a favor and don't do it.

I'd appreciate only comments that contain offers of sympathy/constructive ideas on how to handle this/alcohol and/or drugs to make the stabbing pain behind my eyes andthe nervous tic I've developed go away.

Thank you......

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Why I hate class room mothers.....

Now, if you're a class room mother, I don't want you getting upset with me. If you're reading my blog that means you can't be half bad, so I'll just say you're excused from the following rant.

I think I've made my feelings abundantly clear on how I feel about most other Mothers of young kids.

Don't like 'em, never have, never will. I used to think having kids of my own would cure me of my distaste, but if anything else, it's made me dislike them even more.

Now, I'm not talking about women who are Mothers of infants. Caring for a newborn is in my view, akin to active battle and you too are also excused from any of the venomous spewings you'll read here- as if you've got the time to be reading this kind of nonsense on line anyway.

I'm talking about YOU, and you know who you are. The woman who's got kids my age, who stays at home and decides she's going to be all "involved" in her kids lives because that's what good Mom's do, don't they??????

Yeah, well, you suck!

Having been on both sides of the fence, stay at home and now working I not only know what I'm talking about, I can also afford to be critical!

Why is it that you volunteer to organize things for the kids, like holiday parties, and most recently a gift for the teacher who was leaving to have a baby and you feel the need to call me six times? Especially when you got me on the phone the FIRST time and I TOLD YOU I'd bring the freakin' juiceboxescandypaperplatespeanut/gluten/tastefreesnacks you asked me to bring? Oh that's right, because you needed me to tell YOU how many kids were in the class, then you talked to your neighbor and she already picked up one of the things you asked me to pick up and then you couldn't remember if you ever called me in the first place.

Have you ever heard of a pencil and paper? If not, I know you've got crayons somewhere in that house of yours.

Why is it when you called me LAST YEAR to make a ten dollar donation for the teacher having her first baby, and I drove it over to school with you NAME ON THE ENVELOPE and the school secretary told me I was the first one to drop off money for the gift, I just got my envelope back from the school secretary with a note that you NEVER PICKED IT UP!

Did I mention that you suck? Yeah, I did? Well it bears repeating.

What's the matter? The twenty nine times a week you're in the school office, you couldn't remember to pick it up? Or were you too busy be over involved in your kid's life to do that?

Saturday, June 28, 2008

It would be funny if it happened to someone else..

This morning I was in the supermarket with the girls.

As I was lifting a case of bottled water out of the cart the following conversation took place;

Natasha: Mama you need Daddy for that!

Vica: Yeah, because he's got BIG muscles!

Natasha: Don't feel bad Mama, Daddy has big muscles, but you have a big hieny.

I simply don't have any more to say.........