This morning I was in the supermarket with the girls.
As I was lifting a case of bottled water out of the cart the following conversation took place;
Natasha: Mama you need Daddy for that!
Vica: Yeah, because he's got BIG muscles!
Natasha: Don't feel bad Mama, Daddy has big muscles, but you have a big hieny.
I simply don't have any more to say.........
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Viva Viagra!!
In honor of the fact that Viagra is celebrating it's 10th anniversary, there seems to be a flood of commercials for it on just about everywhere besides the Disney Channel.
Anyway, just a few minutes ago, I came in from dropping Vica off at a birthday party to find Matt and Natasha relaxing watching men's golf.
Naturally, you know what commercial came on. In case you haven't see the latest, it's some dork who finds his powder blue tux in the attic and decides to woo the Mrs. by putting it on and then hopefully getting it on with the help of his little blue friend.....
So, I'm sitting there praying that Natasha really isn't paying attention to what's being said because all I can think of is that she's going to ask one of us what sex is.
Gulp!!!
Back to the commercial, it winds up with Mr. E. D. trying to carry his wife up the stairs, but he decides he probably needs to um, conserve his energy and he puts her down to walk up the stairs and then carries her over the threshold of their bedroom.
How romantic....NOT.
First off, I realize that this drug is being marketed to men so the ad agencies need to wake up and smell the coffee.
No woman in her right mind, after being married for any decent length of time is going to get "in the mood" by the sight of her husband wearing some early 80's prom suit.
I don't know about you, but I know VERY few guys who could actually squeeze themselves into anything they wore 20 years ago- and if you happen to be married to a man who can, you go girl!
I think it would do everyone justice if the next Viagra commercial they show is some guy taking out the garbage without being told, or vacuuming, or picking up his underwear and actually putting them INTO the hamper.
All on his way to Tiffany's........ and I DO mean the jeweler.
Now there's something blue to get a gal in a cooperative mood!
But, as usual, I digress- what I really was getting at was Natasha's reaction to this commercial.
She very innocently turned to Matt and said....
"Do you want to do that to Mama???"
This is the point where I fled the room.
After Matt regained his composure he was able to determine that she meant carry me up the stairs.
I'm just lucky the resident KGB agent wasn't home because she would have kept up a line of questioning that I'm not sure how either one of us would have answered!
Anyway, just a few minutes ago, I came in from dropping Vica off at a birthday party to find Matt and Natasha relaxing watching men's golf.
Naturally, you know what commercial came on. In case you haven't see the latest, it's some dork who finds his powder blue tux in the attic and decides to woo the Mrs. by putting it on and then hopefully getting it on with the help of his little blue friend.....
So, I'm sitting there praying that Natasha really isn't paying attention to what's being said because all I can think of is that she's going to ask one of us what sex is.
Gulp!!!
Back to the commercial, it winds up with Mr. E. D. trying to carry his wife up the stairs, but he decides he probably needs to um, conserve his energy and he puts her down to walk up the stairs and then carries her over the threshold of their bedroom.
How romantic....NOT.
First off, I realize that this drug is being marketed to men so the ad agencies need to wake up and smell the coffee.
No woman in her right mind, after being married for any decent length of time is going to get "in the mood" by the sight of her husband wearing some early 80's prom suit.
I don't know about you, but I know VERY few guys who could actually squeeze themselves into anything they wore 20 years ago- and if you happen to be married to a man who can, you go girl!
I think it would do everyone justice if the next Viagra commercial they show is some guy taking out the garbage without being told, or vacuuming, or picking up his underwear and actually putting them INTO the hamper.
All on his way to Tiffany's........ and I DO mean the jeweler.
Now there's something blue to get a gal in a cooperative mood!
But, as usual, I digress- what I really was getting at was Natasha's reaction to this commercial.
She very innocently turned to Matt and said....
"Do you want to do that to Mama???"
This is the point where I fled the room.
After Matt regained his composure he was able to determine that she meant carry me up the stairs.
I'm just lucky the resident KGB agent wasn't home because she would have kept up a line of questioning that I'm not sure how either one of us would have answered!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day
My husband is a very special man. Not only is he the absolute best Father Vica and Natasha could ever have hoped or dreamed of, but he's pretty terrific in a bunch of other ways.
In my book, Matt really "gets" what it means to be successful and rich. Sure, we'd like to have more money, who wouldn't, but Matt understands that a rewarding life is made up of the small stuff.
Matt wouldn't ever brag about his accomplishments, he's almost embarrassed about them. Then of course, there are those who sense that about him and will seize that as an opportunity to try to belittle him out of their own jealousy. Fortunately he's also too smart to really let that happen.
He makes each and every child he mentors through teaching and/or coaching feel special. Even when that child is intentionally not giving it his or her best shot, he's always looking for ways to make learning fun and nurture whatever talent that child has.
Matt's home room wins Field Day almost every single year. The team is known as "Sicilian's Slices" and sport shirts with that name on the front and the motto "You want a piece of this?" on the back. Everyone knows about them. What a lot of people don't realize is that Matt takes the kids who have no home room because they can't be mainstreamed into the rest of the school population for a variety of reasons. Some have learning disabilities, some have emotional or physical limitations. But, every year these kids get to compete on the "winning" team and somehow Matt finds a way for each kid to have a moment to shine.
Yeah, kinda gives me a lump in my throat too........
Matt has won Coach of the Year three years in a row even though he's technically the co-coach of the Golf Team, which only really means that he gets to do all of the work for half of the money. He would never dream of leaving this program that he's built from the ground up, or complaining that someone else gets to ride his coat tails because of who they happen to be related to.
I'm just petty enough to complain about it, even if it's only on my blog.....
When Matt coached basketball a few years back he had what I think was a completely Golden Moment. No, it wasn't winning a championship- which is what he would have wanted, but something much, much better.
He had a boy on his team who had many difficulties, and let's just say there wasn't any way he was going to play much during the regular season. If it had been a bigger school where there were tons of kids competing for a few spots on the JV team, this boy wouldn't have come close to even making the team.
Matt made sure this boy got to play before the season was over, he put him in at the end of a game where the score no longer mattered, but I doubt this boy even had the ability to really understand that. He made sure that he got every boy on that team to stand up and support that child while he was on the court. This in turn got the entire crowd cheering for him too. I don't remember what happened while he was playing, but all I know is that for one moment he got to experience the glory of the crowd cheering for just him.
And his Mother and Father got to feel that outpouring of love for their child and maybe, just maybe it brought them some brief happiness in what has to be a tough journey in raising a child who is always going to be singled out as "different" by the truly ignorant.
At home we have our differences but my life would be a train wreck of epic proportions of it weren't for Matt standing by to often pick up the pieces.
Matt will tell everyone I was the one instrumental in bringing about the adoption of our girls. Yes, I did do the majority of the work and it was a full time job managing that dossier.
For those of you reading this who haven't adopted, can you imagine trying to collect tons and tons of documents that have to be worded "just so" to appease not only your own government's demands, but those of a foreign government, and one who changes it's rules on what often seemed like a whim. And there's no one to complain to like there is here. I couldn't call my congressman and tell him I didn't like the way things were being handled. If we complained about anything to the powers that be in Ukraine we would be jeopardizing the entire adoption.
Yes, it really was that bad, and yes I did ALL of that. It was more than a full time job.
But I was only able to do that because I have a husband who was more than willing to listen to me carry on like a madwoman and rant and rave, screaming, yelling, giving up every ten seconds. It would have sent another man running for his life.
But not this man, and for that, I am always grateful. I am even more grateful, thankful and awed by the Father you are to our children, Matt.
How lucky and blessed we all are for your love and devotion.
In my book, Matt really "gets" what it means to be successful and rich. Sure, we'd like to have more money, who wouldn't, but Matt understands that a rewarding life is made up of the small stuff.
Matt wouldn't ever brag about his accomplishments, he's almost embarrassed about them. Then of course, there are those who sense that about him and will seize that as an opportunity to try to belittle him out of their own jealousy. Fortunately he's also too smart to really let that happen.
He makes each and every child he mentors through teaching and/or coaching feel special. Even when that child is intentionally not giving it his or her best shot, he's always looking for ways to make learning fun and nurture whatever talent that child has.
Matt's home room wins Field Day almost every single year. The team is known as "Sicilian's Slices" and sport shirts with that name on the front and the motto "You want a piece of this?" on the back. Everyone knows about them. What a lot of people don't realize is that Matt takes the kids who have no home room because they can't be mainstreamed into the rest of the school population for a variety of reasons. Some have learning disabilities, some have emotional or physical limitations. But, every year these kids get to compete on the "winning" team and somehow Matt finds a way for each kid to have a moment to shine.
Yeah, kinda gives me a lump in my throat too........
Matt has won Coach of the Year three years in a row even though he's technically the co-coach of the Golf Team, which only really means that he gets to do all of the work for half of the money. He would never dream of leaving this program that he's built from the ground up, or complaining that someone else gets to ride his coat tails because of who they happen to be related to.
I'm just petty enough to complain about it, even if it's only on my blog.....
When Matt coached basketball a few years back he had what I think was a completely Golden Moment. No, it wasn't winning a championship- which is what he would have wanted, but something much, much better.
He had a boy on his team who had many difficulties, and let's just say there wasn't any way he was going to play much during the regular season. If it had been a bigger school where there were tons of kids competing for a few spots on the JV team, this boy wouldn't have come close to even making the team.
Matt made sure this boy got to play before the season was over, he put him in at the end of a game where the score no longer mattered, but I doubt this boy even had the ability to really understand that. He made sure that he got every boy on that team to stand up and support that child while he was on the court. This in turn got the entire crowd cheering for him too. I don't remember what happened while he was playing, but all I know is that for one moment he got to experience the glory of the crowd cheering for just him.
And his Mother and Father got to feel that outpouring of love for their child and maybe, just maybe it brought them some brief happiness in what has to be a tough journey in raising a child who is always going to be singled out as "different" by the truly ignorant.
At home we have our differences but my life would be a train wreck of epic proportions of it weren't for Matt standing by to often pick up the pieces.
Matt will tell everyone I was the one instrumental in bringing about the adoption of our girls. Yes, I did do the majority of the work and it was a full time job managing that dossier.
For those of you reading this who haven't adopted, can you imagine trying to collect tons and tons of documents that have to be worded "just so" to appease not only your own government's demands, but those of a foreign government, and one who changes it's rules on what often seemed like a whim. And there's no one to complain to like there is here. I couldn't call my congressman and tell him I didn't like the way things were being handled. If we complained about anything to the powers that be in Ukraine we would be jeopardizing the entire adoption.
Yes, it really was that bad, and yes I did ALL of that. It was more than a full time job.
But I was only able to do that because I have a husband who was more than willing to listen to me carry on like a madwoman and rant and rave, screaming, yelling, giving up every ten seconds. It would have sent another man running for his life.
But not this man, and for that, I am always grateful. I am even more grateful, thankful and awed by the Father you are to our children, Matt.
How lucky and blessed we all are for your love and devotion.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Doesn't Play well with the other Moms
I'm cranky this morning and since this all started yesterday, I figured what the heck, I'd blow off some steam and blog about it and maybe, just maybe I'd take my own favorite advice and "Get over it"
I like to think my impatience with other Mothers of small children is due to the fact that I'm several years older than most of them, or because I've taken such a circuitous route to Motherhood that I just don't get worked up over every little thing that my kids do and want to memorialize it for all time and eternity because I think it's not only precious to me, but needs to be shared with the public at large....
Natasha graduated Pre-school yesterday. It was a lovely little ceremony followed by a picnic for the families. Parents, siblings and Grandparents were invited and it was held on the back lawn of the clubhouse with beautiful views of the lake. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although getting to that point was not without it's frustrations.
What gets me is that none of those had to do with Natasha and the education she was receiving there. She's learned so many, many things being in this wonderful program that's run by two of the most patient, talented women I've had the pleasure of meeting- but hey, you already know I'm pro-teacher, :) The most important thing she's learned is HOW to play. When she was in the orphanage her time was extremely structured. With all of those small children and only two women to care for all of them most of the time, there couldn't be any other way. She was constantly told what to do and when to do it, except at play time. Even though there seemed to be enough toys it was always bedlam and really all I ever observed the kids doing was running around crashing into each other screaming or fighting over every single one of those toys. There just wasn't enough adult supervision and the right kind of interaction to foster any of the socialization skills children learn by playing in groups.
Flash forward to the end of this year. Natasha is one of the most popular kids in her class and has many friends. Watching her run around rolling on the grass with her friends giggling was the best!
The weeks leading up to that moment were not so blissful. It seemed that every day that I went to pick her up at school, or came home from work, or logged on to my e-mail there was yet another "idea" cooked up by one of the Mom's about what a "great" year-end project we should do, or memento to give to the teachers, or.....whatever!
Now, I'm totally not adverse to doing any of these things, but why, I ask you do I need six pages of instruction, followed up by three phone calls and an e-mail on HOW to do what's requested. I'm not the 5 year old here!
I also realize that every Mother thinks her child is special. I do, but here's the difference, I know she's just a really cute kid with a really interesting back story to you, and I'm completely, totally cool with that. I don't expect you to worship my kid, if you aren't a member of her immediate family I don't expect you to remember a lot about her either. I also know that teachers are touched and care for the children they teach, and some do stand out over the years. An example being the wedding we're going to in a few weeks. This young man was in the very first class of students Matt taught here in NJ. He went on to become an English teacher and even did his student teaching with Matt as his mentor. In the 15 years Matt has taught here, I can count these kinds of students on the fingers of one hand- and I think that Matt has more than the average.
So, I endure the phone calls and instruction sheets and e-mails, dutifully completing each and every one of the requests on time. The best was the one where I had to have Natasha write words of advice for the incoming class of 2009. I wanted to point out to the woman who cooked up that little gem that a 5 year old doesn't know anything about advice and only sees the world in terms of how it relates to them. I mean, come on, if I know that, then I'm sure it's been printed thousands of times in all of the parenting magazines and books these gals rely on as their bible.
So the icing on the crap cake is yesterday. After listening to the parent teacher liaison (can you believe they even have one of these in pre-school) sob her way through her entire speech- ( I kid you not, and she doesn't even have a child currently enrolled in the pre-k program) it was time to hand out the little diplomas. Very cute, except they used Natasha instead of Natalia. I prefer to have her formal name used whenever it's going to be used in any public setting. That's just how I am. I'm not rabid about it, it's just what I prefer. And that's exactly what I said to my Mother who was sitting next to me. "I would have preferred Natalia instead of Natasha, but oh well"
Where upon the woman sitting in front of me reels around and says "Well, I guess you'll have to just wait until High School then!"
Now those of you who know me realize this is the moment where the red flag is waved in front of the bull and the crowd usually comes to a hush.
But I'm more grown up now and instead of saying what I thought, which was "I'm so sorry that you're not only extremely nosy but wearing a dress that went out of style 5 years ago and have you ever thought of investing in a pair of Spanx if you're going to dress like that, and NO it doesn't make you look like someone on Sex in the City, only a washed out hag" I just gave her that little smile and a nod that says much more than all of that and turned to my Mother next to me.
Who was giving her the exact same look.
You just can't help it when you learn at the feet of the Master.
Oh, and as it turns out. The Carrie Bradshaw wanna be is the woman who concocted the "advice" project.
To hell with maturity, I shoulda just pushed her into the lake.
Yeah, I'm over it.....
I like to think my impatience with other Mothers of small children is due to the fact that I'm several years older than most of them, or because I've taken such a circuitous route to Motherhood that I just don't get worked up over every little thing that my kids do and want to memorialize it for all time and eternity because I think it's not only precious to me, but needs to be shared with the public at large....
Natasha graduated Pre-school yesterday. It was a lovely little ceremony followed by a picnic for the families. Parents, siblings and Grandparents were invited and it was held on the back lawn of the clubhouse with beautiful views of the lake. I thoroughly enjoyed it, although getting to that point was not without it's frustrations.
What gets me is that none of those had to do with Natasha and the education she was receiving there. She's learned so many, many things being in this wonderful program that's run by two of the most patient, talented women I've had the pleasure of meeting- but hey, you already know I'm pro-teacher, :) The most important thing she's learned is HOW to play. When she was in the orphanage her time was extremely structured. With all of those small children and only two women to care for all of them most of the time, there couldn't be any other way. She was constantly told what to do and when to do it, except at play time. Even though there seemed to be enough toys it was always bedlam and really all I ever observed the kids doing was running around crashing into each other screaming or fighting over every single one of those toys. There just wasn't enough adult supervision and the right kind of interaction to foster any of the socialization skills children learn by playing in groups.
Flash forward to the end of this year. Natasha is one of the most popular kids in her class and has many friends. Watching her run around rolling on the grass with her friends giggling was the best!
The weeks leading up to that moment were not so blissful. It seemed that every day that I went to pick her up at school, or came home from work, or logged on to my e-mail there was yet another "idea" cooked up by one of the Mom's about what a "great" year-end project we should do, or memento to give to the teachers, or.....whatever!
Now, I'm totally not adverse to doing any of these things, but why, I ask you do I need six pages of instruction, followed up by three phone calls and an e-mail on HOW to do what's requested. I'm not the 5 year old here!
I also realize that every Mother thinks her child is special. I do, but here's the difference, I know she's just a really cute kid with a really interesting back story to you, and I'm completely, totally cool with that. I don't expect you to worship my kid, if you aren't a member of her immediate family I don't expect you to remember a lot about her either. I also know that teachers are touched and care for the children they teach, and some do stand out over the years. An example being the wedding we're going to in a few weeks. This young man was in the very first class of students Matt taught here in NJ. He went on to become an English teacher and even did his student teaching with Matt as his mentor. In the 15 years Matt has taught here, I can count these kinds of students on the fingers of one hand- and I think that Matt has more than the average.
So, I endure the phone calls and instruction sheets and e-mails, dutifully completing each and every one of the requests on time. The best was the one where I had to have Natasha write words of advice for the incoming class of 2009. I wanted to point out to the woman who cooked up that little gem that a 5 year old doesn't know anything about advice and only sees the world in terms of how it relates to them. I mean, come on, if I know that, then I'm sure it's been printed thousands of times in all of the parenting magazines and books these gals rely on as their bible.
So the icing on the crap cake is yesterday. After listening to the parent teacher liaison (can you believe they even have one of these in pre-school) sob her way through her entire speech- ( I kid you not, and she doesn't even have a child currently enrolled in the pre-k program) it was time to hand out the little diplomas. Very cute, except they used Natasha instead of Natalia. I prefer to have her formal name used whenever it's going to be used in any public setting. That's just how I am. I'm not rabid about it, it's just what I prefer. And that's exactly what I said to my Mother who was sitting next to me. "I would have preferred Natalia instead of Natasha, but oh well"
Where upon the woman sitting in front of me reels around and says "Well, I guess you'll have to just wait until High School then!"
Now those of you who know me realize this is the moment where the red flag is waved in front of the bull and the crowd usually comes to a hush.
But I'm more grown up now and instead of saying what I thought, which was "I'm so sorry that you're not only extremely nosy but wearing a dress that went out of style 5 years ago and have you ever thought of investing in a pair of Spanx if you're going to dress like that, and NO it doesn't make you look like someone on Sex in the City, only a washed out hag" I just gave her that little smile and a nod that says much more than all of that and turned to my Mother next to me.
Who was giving her the exact same look.
You just can't help it when you learn at the feet of the Master.
Oh, and as it turns out. The Carrie Bradshaw wanna be is the woman who concocted the "advice" project.
To hell with maturity, I shoulda just pushed her into the lake.
Yeah, I'm over it.....
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Mama Bear and Goldilocks
Yeah, I know I've been MIA for awhile, things have been hectic at best, and there hasn't been too much that's "blog" worthy happening. Things are going well, the girls are doing just great and getting ready to finish up the school year, but we had a little incident on Monday, and well, let's just say, it could only happen to me...
I'm home on Mondays which means that I run around trying to accomplish as many things as I possibly can, including taking Natasha to school. So, this past Monday was no exception. I got Vica on the bus and me and Natasha were flying around the local Shop Rite doing the weekly grocery shopping. No sooner had I patted myself on the back for making excellent time in the store than Natasha notified me that she needed to go to the bathroom N O W!!!!!! I know there isn't much time when this type of announcement is made by a five year old. The timing could not have been any worse. I had a cart FULL of food, and had NO idea where the restroom was, as this was not my usual store to shop in. Naturally, the bathroom was on the opposite side of the store and I still needed to checkout if I was going to get her to school on time.
So, I run with her in the cart to the entrance where the bathrooms are located, yank her out of the cart and follow her into the bathroom.
Where I am greeted by the sight of a MAN standing in the middle of the ladies room, and all I'm going to say is that he wasn't in there cleaning the bathroom.
You know all of those sayings about getting between a Mother bear and her cub and how it's not a good idea and if you do it, you'll be very sorry.
It's true.....
Natasha breezes right past this guy before I can even register what's going on and locks herself into the stall to do her thing.
As I feel the blood rushing to my head and I'm checking the guy's hands for a weapon and calculating just how hard I have to come at him to knock him on his psycho pervert pedophile in training @ss and all the while I'm thinking I AM GOING TO KIIIIILLLLLLLLLL YOOOOOUUU!!!!!!!
It occurs to me that I'm standing in the middle of the men's room........
Yep, go back a couple of lines where I say I follow Natasha, who can not yet read into the bathroom.
What was really surprising is how quickly I was able to change gears, I went from murderous outrage to downright apologetic in the blink of an eye. Absolutely brilliant even for someone as close to the edge of insane as I am most days...
The guy was really cool about it and said the doors weren't clearly marked as he had almost gone into the ladies room earlier.
Whatever.
I'm home on Mondays which means that I run around trying to accomplish as many things as I possibly can, including taking Natasha to school. So, this past Monday was no exception. I got Vica on the bus and me and Natasha were flying around the local Shop Rite doing the weekly grocery shopping. No sooner had I patted myself on the back for making excellent time in the store than Natasha notified me that she needed to go to the bathroom N O W!!!!!! I know there isn't much time when this type of announcement is made by a five year old. The timing could not have been any worse. I had a cart FULL of food, and had NO idea where the restroom was, as this was not my usual store to shop in. Naturally, the bathroom was on the opposite side of the store and I still needed to checkout if I was going to get her to school on time.
So, I run with her in the cart to the entrance where the bathrooms are located, yank her out of the cart and follow her into the bathroom.
Where I am greeted by the sight of a MAN standing in the middle of the ladies room, and all I'm going to say is that he wasn't in there cleaning the bathroom.
You know all of those sayings about getting between a Mother bear and her cub and how it's not a good idea and if you do it, you'll be very sorry.
It's true.....
Natasha breezes right past this guy before I can even register what's going on and locks herself into the stall to do her thing.
As I feel the blood rushing to my head and I'm checking the guy's hands for a weapon and calculating just how hard I have to come at him to knock him on his psycho pervert pedophile in training @ss and all the while I'm thinking I AM GOING TO KIIIIILLLLLLLLLL YOOOOOUUU!!!!!!!
It occurs to me that I'm standing in the middle of the men's room........
Yep, go back a couple of lines where I say I follow Natasha, who can not yet read into the bathroom.
What was really surprising is how quickly I was able to change gears, I went from murderous outrage to downright apologetic in the blink of an eye. Absolutely brilliant even for someone as close to the edge of insane as I am most days...
The guy was really cool about it and said the doors weren't clearly marked as he had almost gone into the ladies room earlier.
Whatever.
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