Thursday, January 25, 2007

WAIT A SECOND, NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!

Okay, for all of you who brought kids home from Ukraine and failed to fill me in on this little bit of fun, SHAME on you- you, too, Shelly!

Warning, the content of the following is not at all "nice-nice" blog chat, so if you're easily offended or made queasy, please check in another day.

Took the kiddos to the pediatrician yesterday. They did GREAT! Vica is right on target for height and weight for her age, and Natasha is in the 50% for weight and 75% for height. They behaved themselves beautifully and generally worked the charm completely on the entire staff. Matt and I are also extremely pleased with our choice of Dr, and naturally, as it turns out he grew up in the Bronx. He also did work with orphans early in his career and was just the sweetest, nicest man- so we were quite happy. The girls didn't even make a peep when they did the TB test. We'll see how sweet they are when I bring them for bloodwork tomorrow. Yipeee.

Soooooooooo, we're sitting in the exam room and the very nice nurse is taking their vital statistics and then proceeds to hand me a cup with Vica's name written on it. Oooops, yeah, kinda forgot about that whole thing, but hey, I'm a MOM now- I can do anything! So, off we went to the bathroom. After only a minor "mishap" I successfully collected the required specimen. Natasha did even better- Mama does much patting herself on the back, but does inform Matt how lucky his is that he's got two girls at this point.

We finish up and the doctor hands me the orders for the blood work and stool samples for intestinal parasites.

WHAT?????? I've got to go and pick up THREE containers for these specimens????? OY..........

So, off Mama goes to Quest Diagnostics fully expecting to be handed three little "somethings" for each girl.

WRONG!!! Try two separate vials for THREE different, um, experiments for EACH girl. I'm going to spare you some of the more gory details about WHAT I've got to do, but this is out of control! I don't remember reading this in my contract- somebody get my Union Rep on the phone, will ya.

So, now you all know what I will be doing over the next day or so. All I've got to say is that it better be one heck of a Mother's Day present this May.

Other than that, the girls are doing very well. I'm waiting to see how long it takes Vica before she asks for something she sees on TV. They both recite the ABC's and are starting to count in English. Vica understands more and more of what I'm saying to her every day.

Oh, that reminds me- whoever gave us the Cinderella DVD- may you be blessed by good fortune the rest of your days and know that you may have saved more than one life in this house. The girls can watch it twenty thousand times (and just about have already) and it's provided a useful tool when the "Ni Hoht-choos" (I don't WANT to!) start up around dinner time. I've come to the conclusion that I am the quintessential slacker mom and am completely not above bribery or threats.

Guess I won't be getting the June Cleaver Achievement in Motherhood award this year, oh well.....

We're looking forward to introducing the girls to Matt's brothers and sisters and friends this weekend. We can't wait for the girls to meet all of their cousins!

4 comments:

Sue said...

Oh the joys of parenthood LOL!! I am still giddy everytime I read a post from you. Cinderella is a lifesaver in this house for Jillian, Brianna on the other hand is a little tougher she is into animals more then princess's. Enjoy your time with the girls stool samples and all.

Anonymous said...

LOLLLLLLLLLL!!!

You gotta-be-kidding-me! I didn't blog about Poop-Collecting!?!? How can that possibly be!? Just hope and pray you DO it right... because after collecting my THREE specimens for EACH of my THREE kids, we wound up having to REDO the collection process TWO more times!

It was *really* bad. It was awful hard to be *that* watchful of Three kids, so I'd miss a bm for one or the other, or not fill the vial right, or over fill the vial, or whatever. Surgical gloves were My Friends. *wink* It was a nightmare, and I probably didn't blog it because I didn't want everyone to know what a Flunk-Out Mama I was to not be able to get it right! lol! (But it does surprise me that it isn't in there somewhere... It was such a part of those first weeks home!)

My kids thought I was the wackiest mama on the planet... They'd start heading toward the bathroom and I would shout, "Poopies!! I want your POOPIES!" Only back then I'd also through in the Russian - "Khakhit! Ya khatchu tvoy khakhit!" Ah, the memories!

Better you than me, my friend!

lol!!!

Anonymous said...

Lisa

I'm pretty positive I posted about poop collecting as well!!!! the biggest problem is getting poop without accompanying pee!!! I cheated and fished it out of the toilet bowl!!!! Even then, you've got to make sure they don't flush before you get to it & if your kids are like mine were, flushing the toilet is another great American thing that they've not seen before.....

Anonymous said...

Ummm, yeah, about the specimens --

We had to collect multiple samples from my daughter because the lab identified multiple health issues that needed further diagnosis (read: more samples to test).

We had our daughter go to the bathroom on a training potty instead of the big toilet. It was easier to collect samples that way. We also got some great advice (at least I thought so): line the kid's potty with a couple of coffee filters. (A single filter will be too thin; use at least 3-4.) The filters make clean- up a lot easier/less nasty.

Another adoptive mom and I compared notes about our Yalta children - both of our kids had amoebic dysentary, intestinal parasites, and severe anemia.