I'm in a really bad Abbott and Costello Meet the ?????movie

Matt logging here....Just when I thought this place was in another time warp, we had to go to Kerch. You all know about Kerch right now. I do take back a few things though. Due to some down time waiting for the manual typewriters to type documents and then have them copied by a Tibetan scribe..by hand...Rememebr the original Xerox commercials with Brother Dominick making all the copies for the chief monk, and he secretly snuck off and used a copier? Well that would have been faster than this. Anyway, with time to kill and a monumental urge to use a squat lavatory, we discovered the main drag in Kerch. Quite a nice cobble stone-like walkway with shops and cafes and stuff.
Well.....after a 10 1/2 day work stoppage in the entire country, we arrive at the Birth Certificate Offices to get copies of the girls Certs. It's Tuesday morning at 9 AM, third in line, great sign, except I notice that the people in line are a bit too old for young children. Here my hunches are confirmed...they are only issuing death certificates that day, no birth certificates. And they are only open for half a day. 10 days off, no business, and they open for half a day and only give out paperwork for dead people. Actually, I think you're supposed to go there when you are alive, so that by the time you actually get the death certificate, you have already dies a slow painful one.
So.....we can't spring Vika for another day, which will delay the passport shenanigans, which could delay returning to Kiev, which could delay our medical exams, which could delay the Visas at the US Embassy (who by the way will be closed on 1/15/07 for the observance of MLK) The US Embassy observes all local and USA holidays regardless of how far away they are located form my sacred home. So, all these dead Ukrainians could keep me here longer.

But, alas....we get birth certificates the next day, scoop up Vika, and bolt. We hit Simperofol, the capital of The Crimea, and the Passport Office. Now, we have to worry if the head honcho will see our documents, allow us to "negotiate" and give us a timely return on the passports. She had already turned away 2 translators.."No Negotiating with me..you must wait the 10 full days!"
But..we negotiate, drive back to Yalta, and go back the next day (which is today) to pick them up.
A great victory!!!!! But....we get inside the hallowed tripled locked front door, which is protected by a 10 foot high brick facade and await our turn. The assistant svina brings out the paper work, and that's right...you guessed it....they spelled our last name wrong on the passports. Not to worry...it was their mistake. They actually pulled pout all of the documents that were submitted in hopes of finding an error on our part, which they could use against us and make us come back another day, which would.......you know the rest. But they succumbed to the fact it was their error. And you know what they did? They made 2 new passports right there in the back room in less than 10 minutes, So you tell me.....they can work when motivated and "negotiated with well".

So..passports in hand, train tickets to Kiev reserved, last night in Yalta, we spring Natasha tomorrow and head to Kiev. Will arrive Sunday morning. Monday..medicals for the girls, Tuesday to the Embassy for Visas and Friday fly home.

In the meantime, Babushka (grandma) Daria has been vika sitting while we do business. I'm in huge trouble...this kid gets up the first morning with us, goes to the bathroom, washes her hands and then makes her bed. I don't even make my bed. She knows please, thank you, you're welcome, cookie monster, and the refrain from Johnny Lee Hooker's blues tune "Boom boom boom". We ran out of things to do on the 7 hour car ride from Kerch, so we resorted to my Ipod and playing with a flashlight. She dug Joe Cocker and the LED blue light. Should I be worried?
Natasha likes to draw suns with black crayons....I should be worried, yes?
Vika called grandma Phyllis last night to say hello. She told grandma in English.." I love you babuskha Feelis (thats how she says Phyllis). Cute stuff. She had her first pizza last nite at Mama Mia's Pizzeria in Yalta.

AND....today Vika and Natasha were reunited after 2 years. Natasha hadn't seen us since last Sunday, so she was quiet and shy. Vika kinda just clung to mama along with natasha, then things warmed up. Natasha fed all of us her banana and then the two of them kinda gravitated toward each other. By the end of our short visit, Vika and Natasha were walking hand in hand from the orphanage playground. Cool stuff if you ask me. Wait until we throw them together for 10 hour train ride and a 10 hour plane ride. Yes.....I am in trouble here folks. I realized yesterday all of you dads...we're only good for one thing on a trip....listening to everyone else, buying dinner and carrying the luggage. If there are any other rules I should get acquainted with, please feel free to pass them along.

Lisa apologizes for not getting back on emails...it's been crazy here since Tuesday and we just kinda got settled today. She will catch up with everyone in Kiev. And so will I. Keep the good vibes coming so we can get on the next leg of our journey safely and quickly. Hard to believe its all winding down soon.

Love to all.

Matt and Lisa