"Let My People Go Go" -Moses-

Moses spent his time wandering the deserts looking for theland of milk and honey...Lisa and I have drifted through Ukraine and the outskirts of Russia for nearly 47 days. I hope to God that this is the last post I make before heading home tomorrow. I wanted a nice quiet farewell, but no......what do I get? I get a vagrant drifter, more than a few sheets to the wind, sleeping outside of our apartment yesterday afternoon. What to do?
Ask him what he wants, throw him down the stairs, call a cop or militzia? Go next door to the US Embassy and ask for the goverment pamphlet on how to handle this, or get an official Ukrainian document of permision to toss him, complete with the required triplicate raised seal blue @#$%& stamps!!!! None of the above....I wait him out. A test of wills I say!

I have battled beauracracy, "negotiations", cars parked on sidewalks, cars driven on sidewalks,nobody accpeting large bills because it would require thought to make change, men spitting on sidewalks, men blowing snot rockets into the street,being publicly scolded for whistling (in complete pitch and tune I might add), half naked women on tv variety shows all day and night (ok this was somewhat tolerable), biatholon skiing, soccer, Everybody Loves Raymond dubbed in Russian, customer service where I am always wrong, 4 hour bump fest rides to a city that makes Syracuse NY look like Oz, Alla our translator, the Scooby Doo hallways of Ukraine's Municipal offices--remember the hallway where doors open and close, people move from one door to another, in and out of offices?--
the lack of local hygiene, the land where bathing regularly is a bimonthly event,squat toilets (just a hole in the floor--you get the picture?). statues of Poppa Lenin in every town square in every city, spending 47 straight days with my wife and my mother-in-law, 24/7 (actually it was a nice bonding experience), the locals bundling up for the Arctic despite 55 degree weather only because the calendar says it is winter, strangers chastising me for not making my kid wear a hat on aforementioned 55 degree day,and, finally toilet paper with a sandpaper grit of 50.....and I'm going to let one misguided miscreant stand in my way? NYET!!!

I finally have enough, wake him up and tell him to "behome" which means hurry up and leave or I will call militzia, the police. His response? "What time is it"? (he pointed at my watch) I show him its 3 o'clock. He bolts upright, and begins to gather his things quickly like he actually has to @#$%& be somewhere and he's late! Where could this guy possibly have to be that he actually looks panicked because he might have missed something important? Does that sum things up for you? It does for me.

And, on the other hand, I have experienced a lifetime of memories from my travels abroad. I have met some people, Ivan our driver, the cookie lady in Yalta, the gold toothed produce lady in the markets, the Internet boys in Yalta, Vasilly, the golf club owner, all of which added color to what at times was a drab existence.

And...I got my girls....just the way it was always supposed to be. I am a man among women now....Lisa, the girls and Sophia..no where to run, no where to hide. I can't wait to get home and see where this all takes me next.

I thank you for following our trip abroad and allowing me to regale you with our stories and anectdotes. And I swear, there has been no embellishing of the facts here.

I bid "pakah" to all of you from Ukraine.